Female Solo Backpacking: Everything You Need to Know

As is a lot of things in my life - my decision to travel to the other side of the world was a bit haphazard. It was October of 2019 and I was a year and a half into a job that I just didn't love anymore. My co-workers were great and the job itself wasn't bad - but a hectic schedule and constant stress and anxiety were leaving me feeling extra depleted. I had always dreamt of spending an extended time abroad, and with each promotion - I felt that dream slipping further away. So I asked a friend living in Thailand for some help, and I left on a one-way to Bangkok completely on my own and with little answers to what may happen.

I have no regrets over my decision, but female solo travel may not be the best for everyone. Here’s what I learned.

You Will Always Have Friends, If You Want Them

Sit at a table by yourself and I guarantee someone will approach within five minutes to ask you to join their group sitting across the way. Whether you’re on the quiet side or can make friends easily, just remember to be gracious and open to someone trying to get to know you and I promise you’ll be fine.

Moreover, you’ll begin to pick up on the backpacker personality with time, IE, speaking to everyone. Something about backpacking attracts the most friendly and judgment-free people, and it becomes quite normal to pipe into the conversation going on next to you or booking a flight with someone you’ve only known for a couple of hours. It may sound weird - but it’s not. After a few weeks, I had the confidence to insert myself into friend groups unashamedly.

Take the Yes Approach and Be Flexible

When you don’t have a group of friends to lean on, you have to be comfortable with going with the flow, waking up with zero plans, and saying yes to any opportunity.

For me, I was limited to the fact that I couldn’t rely on driving a scooter myself. In a place like Pai, Thailand, where most activities are waterfalls or nature destinations just outside the city, I had to have someone drive me there. Although you can pay someone to take you just about anywhere, it’s more fun driving with a new friend. More often than not, I’d wake up clueless about what was in store for me.

What did that lead to? One day I found a fellow FSU-grad (the only one I ever met while abroad) over breakfast, and we decided to drive to a waterfall that day. He was shaky with his skills, we purposefully drove a route to avoid police and had no real agenda - it was a great day. On another outing, two very buff guys asked me to go to the famous sunset canyon. I thought I was in for a lovely view but I did not plan on the intense hike I ended up endeavoring through. It’s something I never would have done on my own and there were parts I literally had to be carried through (your girl does not have any arm strength to speak of). It is one of my more distinct memories because I was in a situation where I HAD to rely on others.

Solo Females Are Rare and Men Will Be Abundant

“Solo female backpacker” doesn’t carry a lot of weight these days because you don’t need to be solo if you don’t want to. in SE Asia, the loop is pretty clear cut and you will unintentionally meet the same people over and over again. I was with one group for all of North Thailand and Laos - and even parts of Vietnam. It’s pretty common to click with a group going in the same direction and choosing to stick with each other. As a female, you could also find another girl and stick together as a twosome. Honestly, the variations are endless.

That being said, if you choose not to do this - you’ll be a bit more unique. With women being more concerned over safety, it’s rare to find someone who opts to not stay with the same people. Especially in places like Vietnam and Laos - these destinations fall into the middle of the standard itinerary and by then, most people have chosen some travel companions.

Choose Hostels Wisely

Take it from me - I learned the hard way that hostels are everything. Before realizing this, my very first hostel was in an odd part of Bangkok and was nearly empty save for a couple of people who spoke no English and an older gentleman who gave off creepy vibes. I thought to myself, if this was backpacking - I wouldn’t be here long.

So after a few days of exploring - I opted for what was considered a “party hostel.” I’m not into drinking and planned on doing a lot of cultural activities while traveling, but I thought I’d give it a try and wowza was it a different experience.

Hostels in Asia are a business like any other, and you’ll quickly see familiar names - big brands with tons of locations. Mad Monkeys are ubiquitous, Vietnam Backpackers has the market cornered in you guessed it, Vietnam, and Slumber Party guarantees you’re in for a good time. You’ll become familiar with the top players pretty quickly and most destinations will offer at least one of these chains. Once I started staying there - gamechanger. Whether you want to party or not, the audience for these companies are young, fun, and friendly. I started staying at the hostels with social reputations and by week 3, I almost always knew someone as I walked through the lobby. On top of that, these hostels offer group outings and nightly events making it super easy to find friends.

Think Ahead About What Countries You’re Visiting

Just because I and many others emphasize how safe Asia is doesn't mean you can throw caution to the wind. I rarely had problems, but I was also rarely by myself. In places like Malaysia and Cambodia - there are far fewer backpackers and you can’t rely on the travel network you’ve built. Consider traveling with a group through these countries or plan on having a different experience compared to places like Thailand.

I can say that Malaysia was definitely a shock for me. You have to dress modestly as a female, locals are not accustomed to white women and will ask for a lot of photos, and you can easily feel intimated due to the constant stares. I say this because I don’t want to make any blanket statements - at the end of the day, each country is different. If you’re not ready to be truly solo, put some more thought behind Cambodia, Myanmar, Malaysia, and anywhere else you’re interested in. Some countries are certainly harder than others.

Be Smart with Strangers

Gut instincts are everything and I learned to let them be my guide. Asia is tricky and can be polarizing for the female solo traveler - you want to feel safe and be open to locals and fellow travelers who all seem to be genuinely so kind because that is part of this experience. As an American, I had to shuck a lot of lessons that were ingrained in me - don’t talk to strangers, if someone is being nice they probably have a motive, and have your guard up if someone tries to talk to you.

With such a sense of ease, I did a ton of things that would be a hard no in the states. One man offered me a free ride on his scooter to get me home, and I said yes. Turns out he mainly wanted to practice his English. Another evening, I met a Cambodian woman who offered to bring me along on their family dinner - I jumped in her car with no questions asked. Could these have ended badly? Maybe. But I trusted my instincts and refused to close myself off to strangers - because not only would you miss out on the greatest side of travel, but you’ll also inadvertently push the reputation of western tourists visiting these countries while not really seeing them.

All this being said, I did have an occasion where my red flags just wouldn’t stop waving, and I needed to ask for help. I did, and it all turned out fine. So, find your balance and keep an open mind - don’t freak out when people have a heightened sense of interest in you but gracefully exit if you feel anything is getting too intense.

All in all, I would absolutely recommend backpacking solo. I loved my freedom and was able to live selfishly for a year - doing absolutely everything I wanted to do and nothing I didn’t want to do. I learned a lot about myself, grew in my confidence, and am more comfortable with who I am.